Like Cats and Dogs
by Baka-Pyros
Summary: Severus enters into a fierce argument with Crookshanks that ends with Hermione showing him just how much she loves her husband. Lemon meringue pie with lots of fluff. Oneshot. SSHG


Newlywed Severus Snape paced around his dungeon quarters. Boxes sat around him in varying degrees of being unpacked, and he allowed himself a small smile as he looked at one that had little ornaments sitting in it. The thought that he had _knick-knacks_ in his quarters and that he was _smiling_ about it made him grin a bit more. So much had been changed for the woman who had decided to take up residence in his heart and his home.

Hermione Granger (now Hermione Snape) had apprenticed to him after the war. He had certainly been reluctant to take the little chit on, but it was decided for him that he owed her. She was the one who ran back to the Shrieking Shack and saved his life, after all.

Anyway, life had gone on, and Severus found himself steadily enjoying her company. After all the guilt that had crippled him after the war, it was a brilliant thing to be able to smile, to laugh. He found himself opening up to her and having her see him for who he was… and loving him anyway.

He snorted at that thought. It wasn't as if Hermione were perfect. She did have her moments where her curiosity got the better of her, and she pried just a little too far. Or when she argued so vehemently with him over little matters, which Severus secretly thought was endearing (especially when her face turned all red). Oh, and she snored.

But, as fate would have it, they fell in love. Not the kind with a choir of angels and huge declarations of love, but one that crept up and settled in his heart and refused to leave. Now she was his life. He even went through the big white wedding for her. Complete with far too many guests for his liking. Most of them had been there to see Hermione, but Severus didn't mind. She had been beautiful in her dress; her eyes alight with happiness at marrying _him_. He supposed that made it worth while.

The marriage had been in July (coincidentally the day before Potter's bloody birthday. Prat.) and it was now the start of a new term at Hogwarts. Hermione had finished her apprenticeship under him and was going to take the position of the Potions Mistress. Severus was taking the torch of headmaster once again, being that Minerva McGonagall had retired after the war.

But back to the boxes. There weren't that many, considering that most of her stuff had made it over to her new home (Severus grinned again) throughout the last month. She had given away or sold much of her furniture, but a few things they had swapped for his. Like the love seat that Hermione loved to sit on with him and read. He frowned for a beat. The seat she should be sitting on with him right now. Or doing more interesting things on.

Hermione was in the Potions classroom, setting up the student stores, and arranging the class to her liking. Leave it to her to put work first, when all Severus wanted to do was get her back to christen their rooms together. Which was the reason for his pacing.

He decided then that he could at least make the bed to make it more inviting. Turning, he went over to their bed.

The chocolate coloured sheets lay in a crumpled heap at the foot of the bed. Which was fine. Easy enough to fix.

Except for the orange beast that lay on top of them.

Of all of Hermione's things she had brought, of all the little pictures (he even let her hang up the one of her, the boy-who-annoyed, and the idiot sidekick), of the number of bookshelves she took up, of her too many clothes residing in his closet... the only thing she had brought with her that was any semblance of irritation was the cat.

That great big orange tom with the squashed in face lay luxuriously stretched out on _his_ sheets. Severus stared at it. "Get off my bed, cat."

Crookshanks opened a lazy eye before closing it in a clear dismissal.

He took another step forwards, flicking a hand at the beast. "I said get off," he said more sternly.

Crookshanks yawned widely before getting up and sauntering up the bed. He kneaded at Severus' pillow before laying down upon it.

"Oh no you don't," Severus growled, stalking up to where the cat was and giving him a shove.

The half-kneazle sunk his claws into the material, budged half an inch, and sneezed noisily on the pillow whilst glaring up at his owner's other pet. Or at least, that's how he viewed Severus.

The 'other pet' then rolled up his sleeves, prepared to mightily fling the cat across the room with an even mightier glower, when he heard the door open. He turned to see Hermione, his beautiful wife, bounce in and shut the door by swinging her foot back and kicking it.

She was obviously in a good mood; having put the class in order must have really given her that drive she always had when starting a project.

She smiled at him, and walked over, stretching up to kiss him lightly on the lips. "Hello, love," she greeted him.

His irritation with the cat vanished when her lips had touched his. Of course his face showed nothing of his happiness to see her, but she always knew how he felt, expressions be damned. He tucked a lock of her bushy hair behind her ear. It sprang back into her face with a fierce will of its own. He chuckled, "And how badly have you decimated the perfect class set up I had established?"

She smiled at him cheekily, "I wouldn't say 'decimated', nor would I say 'perfect'. Anyway, I simply improved upon your own inferior system."

He stepped behind her and ran his hands up her arms, resting them on her shoulders. Leaning in, he whispered in her ear, "And how was a perfect system such as mine 'inferior' as you so put it?" He began to rub her shoulders and she leaned back into chest.

"Well, you see, the work tables didn't have enough room between them, so I had to fix that," she whispered as he began to kiss up her neck.

"Oh, I'm sure that was such a huge problem before," he muttered between kisses. "Dare I ask what else was sub par?"

"I re-arranged the students'," she gasped when he bit her shoulder lightly before swiping his tongue along it. "The- the students' cupboard."

He began to walk her to the bed as she talked about arranging things by Latin name. "Brilliant ideas, from a brilliant witch." He commented as he spun her to face him and stared into her eyes hungrily, glad to see her expression matched his own.

"I know you don't really care what I do with the classroom, Severus. So long as I don't paint it pink and let the students go wild with potions ingredients, that is. So, sweet talk will get you no where."

He puffed out a small breath of laughter before pushing her back slowly onto the bed and crawling over her with a predator's grace. "Au contraire, madam. It seems that my 'sweet talk' has got you right where I want you."

She huffed indignantly at him; "Maybe this was _my_ plan all along. To lure _you_ to bed with my talk of walkway space and-" He cut her off with a kiss, effectively silencing her the only way that really worked. Too bad for the rest of the world he was the only allowed to do it this way.

He growled slightly when her hands tangled in his hair, and she nipped his lip. Running his hand up her side, he caressed her through her robes. They deepened the kiss, her tongue sliding along his with a gaining fervour.

He broke away and began to kiss down her neck as he had been doing before. He drew her robes up and over her head, and took her bra off with a practised ease. He trailed kisses up from her belly button, before drawing one of her nipples into her mouth. He felt himself begin to harden when Hermione let out a breathy moan. An erection, however, that was lost a second later when Hermione's moan caused her cat, which still laid on his pillow, to yowl pitifully.

Hermione pushed him off with a last kiss. "I forgot I have to feed Crooks still," she said as she jumped up from the bed, pulled her robes back on, and headed into the kitchen to fill the stupid thing's food bowl.

Severus gave the cat his most venomous glare. "Oh, sod off, you little bastard," he snapped at it.

Crookshanks purred as Hermione stepped back into the room to scoop the fluffy cat into her arms and cuddle him. "I'm so sorry I didn't give you food earlier, honey."

Severus twitched at the endearment. As she walked out of the room, she held Crookshanks to her chest so his head was looking over her shoulder.

His eyes locked onto the irate potion's master, and he purred even louder as they left.

Severus crossed his arms with a huff. He could hear her cooing at the demon spawn in the other room. After a few moments they both walked back in, the cat twining itself around her legs as she smiled down at it. She looked up and paused at the extreme look of irritation on her husband's face.

"Severus?" His eyes, which had been glaring at that bloody cat, snapped up to meet hers. "What's the matter?"

He laid back on the bed and folded his hands behind his head. "What on earth would make you think something might be wrong? I'm sure life is just fine since you have your 'honey' to fawn over."

She stared at him in confusion for a moment. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"You have cat hair all over your shirt," he snapped by way of answer.

Frowning at him, Hermione waited for an explanation that was not forthcoming. Silence reigned between them for a few moments.

He knew he was in for it the moment he saw her eyes light up in understanding. "Severus Snape!" she cried, "Are you _jealous_ of my _cat_?!"

He glared at her. "I refuse to answer that, seeing as how it is an outlandish question."

Hermione gasped. "You are! Just because he got in the way of you getting a little nookie!"

He grimaced at her terminology, but didn't back down. "Well, you chose him over me, didn't you?"

She laughed and crossed the room, straddling his hips while he still lay back on the bed. "I think feeding him to keep him alive has a little higher priority." Her eyes sparkled. Leaning over him she whispered in his ear, "Do you think you are in danger of dying if you are… deprived of this?" On the last word she ground her hips over his, and Severus drew in a sharp breath at the feeling.

He closed his eyes as she ran her tongue over the shell of his ear, before her hot breath puffed against it. "Well?"

He opened his eyes, and stared into her brown ones. They were glazed over; her pupils were dilated.

He took that as a very good sign.

"I may have been in danger of starvation of a very different kind," he muttered, running his hand along the edge of her jaw.

He watched her eyes flutter shut as his fingers traced from her jaw down her neck. Without another word, he flipped them over so his body covered hers. One wordless spell later and their clothes disappeared, which made Hermione squeak in surprise before pressing up against him in need.

Running his hands up the inside of her thighs, Severus felt Hermione spread her legs for him. He captured her mouth with his as he slid one finger inside her wet entrance.

He swallowed her moans as he began to pump his finger in and out of her and his thumb began to stroke over her swollen nub.

Her hands slid up his back and her nails dug in slightly when he added another finger. She was coming close now, he could tell. She was making little mewling noises (a little too much like a cat for his liking at that moment… but then again maybe it was appropriate) and undulating beneath him.

He broke their kiss and kissed his way down to where his hand was. He replaced his thumb with his tongue and Hermione bucked her hips into his face. Holding her down with his free hand he licked at her folds, sucking her bud into his mouth until she cried out (_his_ name, he noted smugly. Not some damn cat's name). Her inner walls clenched around his fingers and her hands gripped at the sheets that lay rumpled on the bed.

Grinning he looked up at her. Her face was flushed and a slight sheen of sweat had appeared, her eyes were bright. "I need you now. _Please_," she breathed.

Never one to disobey (He mentally snorted. Even he couldn't swallow that line of tripe), he climbed back up the bed. Once he was positioned between her legs, he slid himself inside her in one long stroke. She stretched to accommodate him, and he groaned at the feeling of it.

She was so wet, so tight, so _right_. Slowly, oh so slowly, he pulled out. Running his tip along her slit, he waited for the reaction that he knew would come.

Hermione strained down towards him, and whimpered. "Severus, don't-be-a-tease!" she ground out in frustration.

He slid back inside her with another groan. Hermione arched her back to take more of him in, and sighed out his name.

That decided for him that he couldn't very well just stop now.

He found a rhythm quickly and relished in the feel of his wife around him. The sound of her panting, of the way his name tipped off her lips so easily as stroked within her. Her beautiful, horrible hair. The way she always made him feel wanted.

Was it love? Most certainly. Would he ever openly admit it to anyone other than Hermione? Not unless cattle prods were involved.

He was getting closer to the edge, and knew that she was too. His hand slid down past her stomach, between their bodies, and rubbed at her clit to make her come.

Profanity streamed from her lips as she hit orgasm, and sweet nothings fell from his as he filled her with his seed. Both of them showing the opposite of themselves when only the other would see it.

As they lay, breathing slightly heavy in the aftermath of their lovemaking, one bandy legged ginger cat leapt lightly up onto the bed. He nuzzled at Hermione's head and meowed.

With an unlady-like grunt Hermione pushed him away and muttered, "Not now Crooks."

Severus found himself grinning and didn't fool himself that his wife didn't notice it.

She snuggled into his chest and mumbled, "See? I won't let either of you starve."

And it was then that Severus had the overwhelming feeling that life was just _good_. He had just had great sex, his wife was cuddled up with him (not that he would ever tell anyone that he enjoyed _cuddling_), and he could feel a set of reproachful yellow eyes glaring holes into the back of his head. Good, indeed.

……

_**AN:**_ So, this is my first one shot, and my first *completed* fic. Please be kind and review so I can know what you all think! (Edit: I've gone through and fixed many of the punctuation errors that were bothering me so. Hope it looks a bit more cleaned up now!)


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